Caboodle & The Whole Kit

Relaxing episodes of life, family, love & romance, faith, and even the odd, inadvertent run-ins with some quite unsavoury fictional characters. This anthology of short stories, poetry, and songs also includes the latest edition of KC’s popular short story: The Devil’s Apology.

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Excerpt From Interviews: Interview with The Phantom

I love the opera, but nothing had prepared me for what was about to happen. I decided I’d go to France and watch a show there. Since I am pretty fluent in Spanish I didn’t think it would be a problem.

I couldn’t understand a bloody word of it! Then I remembered, oh yes, this is France… trust the French to have to do things differently! No wonder nobody ever understands them!

Anyway the show was good and had a lot of action and great music in it. It was all about this guy in a mask trying to seduce a beautiful woman. She thought he was an angel sent by her dead father and she was in love with some other guy. Well the first guy didn’t like her being in love with someone else, so he seduced/kidnapped the woman and tried to make her marry him. (Bit loony that one!) Anyway, the guy she really loved saved her from him in the end.

After the show, I was minding my own, as you do, and decided I’d have a nice stroll back to my hotel when upon passing a dark alleyway around the back of the opera, I heard a strange sound and that’s how I ended up interviewing, The Phantom of The Opera!

Phantom: Psst!

Kev: Hello. Is someone there?

Phantom: Psst (a shadowy cloaked figure beckons

Kev to follow him)

Kev: Are you sure this is wise, it’s rather dark and cold down here?

Phantom: Fear not, I am your Angel!

Kev: Really? Oh well that’s all right then.  

The Phantom leads Kev down through a labyrinth underneath the opera house. It’s cold, damp and there are candles and broken pieces of glass like shattered mirrors everywhere. They stop by an enclave in the cave. There is an old bust of a woman wrapped in a rather old and shabby wedding dress and what is left of the veil. The Phantom motions Kev to sit.  

Phantom: Are you Kev?

Kev: That’s right, but you already know that ’cause you’re an angel, right?

Phantom: Ah yes, quite right.  

Kev: So, what can I do for you?

Phantom: I need you to interview me, of course!  

Kev: Ah… Well it just so happens I brought my trusty pen and have a pad in my coat pocket. (Kev produces the pen and pad to show as evidence)

Phantom: Excellent! Let us begin!

Kev: Well what I normally do is start by saying, in a generalised way, tell us a little about yourself. Where you grew up, siblings, family life, education, and how you got to where you are now, but being an angel, I’m not sure that will do for you.  

Phantom: Oh no, that just will not do! I do not wish to go into my childhood… it is full of horror and pain! I was abused and beaten because of my facial deformity, you see… hence the mask!

Kev: (The penny drops) Hang on a minute… Where are we?

Phantom: In the catacombs beneath the opera house. This is my lair!

Kev: You’re no angel! You imposter. You’re, you’re… The Phantom! Aren’t you?

Phantom: I am an angel. Ask Christine, she’ll tell you! She even said as much when she followed as I coaxed her to my lair. She sang only for me. She was my angel of music! She loved only me.

Kev: Can’t you see, that only proves that you seduced her?

Phantom: I loved her! And she would have loved me too if it wasn’t for that meddling Raoul!  

Kev: (He sounds like a villain from Scooby Doo now!) But didn’t she love Raoul rather than yourself? (Kev sees an object in the cave and picks it up) Look! Is this not her engagement ring?

Phantom: How dare you! I should run you through for your insolence! I have my sword!

Kev: And I sir, have my pen! (The pen is mightier than the sword and all that… wink, wink.)

Phantom: Trait de plume! (Meaning: the stroke of the pen!)

Kev: (Thinks hes being invited to go for Scooby snacks and plums. It fits with his impression of the French eating strange things at odd times of the day) No thanks, not hungry! Ooh, look at the time, must be off.   

Phantom: But what will you make of our interview?

Kev: I’ll tell everyone that you didn’t really mean to do any harm and it was all done for love! (Smiles)

Phantom: Oh, that’s alright then. Cheers Kev! Kev: Don’t mention it.

Animal Tales

A delightful collection of short stories and poetry, most of which were inspired by real life events and animals.

All profits from Animal Tales are donated to Animal Rescue Centres.

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Excerpt From Misery’s Mishap

This short story is based upon actual real events; names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Scene One: Gibraltar. Current Date and Time: May 2nd 2014. 14.02.43

DDI (Doggy Detective Inspector) Pip here, investigating the scene of what was reported to be a major disturbance in the area yesterday around about mid-day or thereafter and near the old military bastion that has not been in use for quite some time now.

I don’t like disturbances out here on, The Rock and it is my job to make sure trouble is cleaned up and order is kept, if you get my meaning.

A constable comes up to DCI Pip, “Nothing here sir, we’ve searched everywhere.”

“Alright son. Listen up, I know you don’t get much excitement out here on, The Rock, but tell the lads to keep a tight one on this at the moment, OK? It just won’t do to have unseemly gossip floating back over to mainland, Spain and god knows where else across the bloody continent from there. We don’t want it attracting the wrong sorts. Comprende?”

“Yes sir…Will do sir.”

I’ve had my team search the area thoroughly with a fine, toothed-comb and so far they have found nothing untoward.

…time to make some enquiries.

The Wizard, The Girl and The Unicorn’s Horn

A children’s fantasy that takes you to the magical land of Geo where people, goblins and even trolls live in relative harmony but things change drastically when the evil shadow comes with his demon hordes. The fate of the people along with all of Geo now rests in the hands of the old worn out wizard, a ragtag bunch of goblins, and a mysterious little girl.

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Excerpt

Without warning, the wizard stops and motions the goblins to be still. The goblins listen intently but hear nothing. They sniff the air but don’t smell anything. They look to the top of the mountains but see only the sky beyond the peaks.

Grog’s followers look at him, but he just shrugs his shoulders. No sooner had he done so, than their eyes suddenly widen. The shadow sweeps over the mountains and descends upon them in the time it takes them to gasp.

There is menacing laughter in the shadow. The goblins raise their clubs and look around them. Grog stands, legs apart, patting his hand with his club. The wizard stands still, a steady, but firm grasp upon the staff at his side. He shows no emotion and remains silent.

The laughter fades and is replaced by a whisper.

“I knew you would come, old man. Are you missing your stupid simple peasants?”

The wizard remains silent.

“Lost your tongue, have you? Oh, I know, you didn’t expect a confrontation so soon did you?”

The wizard still remains silent. “What’s this rabble you have with you? Goblin retards? Is that the best you can do? Well, I suppose that’s all you get when you waste your life shepherding such pathetic creatures.

“When I have wrested this land from you, they shall cower before me even as your simple peasants do, if I decide they can be useful, that is!”

This time the wizard breaks his silence with surprising power in his voice. “Enough!”

With that simple word, the wizard raises his staff and light emanates from a crystal at the top of it. The shadow withdraws at a rapid pace.

Silence befalls. The goblins stand with a look of shock on their faces. Only Grog is standing there with a silly grin on his face. Finally, he speaks.

“Shall we go on?”

“No, we shall rest tonight Grog. He won’t come back.”

“How can wizard be so sure?” “He got what he came for. He wanted to test the strength of my magic, that’s all.”

Miedo 2: A Reckoning With Fear

As Miedo comes into young adulthood, he is confronted with new demons while he searches for answers to his past through Spiritualism. But, rather than finding answers, he is left with more questions as a plethora of paranormal experiences occur in his life yet again. His spiritual journey leads him towards the path of Christianity, but where will his physical journey take him?

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Revelation into Miedo 2

Miedo is now a teenager searching for meaning in life. He is fraught with questions regarding his childhood experiences and seeks answers to the paranormal incidents that haunt him. This is his secret life. He has shared his experiences with no-one and is filled with confusion and hatred for the demons that torment his soul and fill him with fear. He is determined when the time is right, there will be a reckoning. Miedo turns to spiritualism for answers and the hope of gaining the power to deal with the supernatural forces around him. When this doesn’t work, he searches for answers through Christianity.

Meanwhile, in normal life, the life that others see, Miedo is simply searching for happiness while coming to terms with the life of work and the challenges of a 1980s England when work was hard to come by. Intermingled with this are his family relationships, developing social relationships, new romantic relationships, and his health and mental well-being.

Does a reckoning with the supernatural solve Miedo’s problems and rid him of his fears? Or does he find his solutions in the natural course of his life?

Miedo: Living Beyond Childhood Fear

A memoir written as a British Drama set in the historical city of hull during the mid-1960s-1980s. This is the true story of a boy who after losing his mother at a very young age, begins to experience a plethora of paranormal incidents brought about through the circumstances of living within a dysfunctional family, resulting in a childhood filled with fear.

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Insights into Miedo

Miedo’s fears develop from a traumatic change in his environment. It is a prime example of how the environment can have a profound effect on a child’s personality and whole being. A child’s personality can be disrupted by changes as fundamental as a simple cause & effect relationship to dysfunctional additive relationships.

In Miedo’s case, he metamorphosed into a different person. He transforms from being a happy, contented child whose whole world is entranced by the wonders of nature and all its glory, and the healthy relationships he has with his grandparents, dad, and two sisters to become a child filled with fears of the unknown in a cold, natureless home with dysfunctional relationships.

Miedo’s fears are brought about by the change in his environment, and changes in his family situation. Having a hearing loss, and not being able to speak properly only add to his problems. He gets beaten for being ignorant when he doesn’t hear. His fears manifest themselves in the guise of paranormal events and go completely unnoticed, despite his constant bedwetting.

Each time Miedo runs away and returns to his grandparents, he transforms back again. Fears are all forgotten, he doesn’t wet the bed, and there are no supernatural experiences. For the short duration of his stays life is bliss once more. The same is true when the family goes on holiday with his grandparents, or when he is in the park. Miedo again transforms back to the child he was.

The Devil’s Apology

In this short epic fantasy/satire, the devil gives his account of what went on when he fell from grace. He speaks of how it all began and depicts God as the culprit. Witness the powers of the heavens in majestic battles between angels and demons as he retells the story.

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Excerpt

My most fond recollection is one particular time when an Angel warrior came fighting his way through the ranks destroying everything in his path with a flaming sword. He must have been one of the seraphim. Seraphim are particularly dangerous enemies who are chosen among the ranks of generals and great captains by your god. Anyway, my lesser creations were no match for this great warrior. He slaughtered many of them. 

He reminded me much of how Beelzebub had first won my admiration and I could tell he was out for glory.  

He was on a roll and after slaughtering countless of my lesser beings under Legion’s command, he caught sight of Legion and through his own arrogance decided he would make an end of him, not knowing his great secret, of course. 

Oh, it is such a fond memory! This arrogant bastard, while Beelzebub was already occupied with a couple of seraphim (for even the seraphim would not dare attack Beelzebub alone) saw that Legion had seemingly strayed a little away from the battle having just put an end to a small group of angels who had foolishly attacked him. 

His chest must have doubled in size as he decided to take on Legion by himself. He swooped away from the battle, his eyes full of fire, which was fuelled through god’s wrath, and swiftly approached Legion swinging his flaming sword lustfully like he was god himself.

They sparred for an age and others left them to it. Finally Legion feigned to tire and flee, leading him further astray from the battle. Beelzebub, having finished the two seraphim, saw him and grinned, knowing the inevitable outcome. The champion pursued and came onto Legion, ever more determined; filled with the passionate lust of battle, he bore down upon Legion with all the force he could muster. 

Legion countered his blow.  He then toyed with him for a while longer, allowing this champion of the seraphim to think he was getting the better of him, whilst all the time, subtly leading him further and further away from the main battle until at last, the Seraphim, thinking the victory blow, struck with his sword for a final time.  

Legion waited until he was in mid-strike, knowing he would then be most vulnerable. And just as the anticipated smell of victory was entering this champion’s nostrils, Legion suddenly became full of life, countered his blow and came crashing down upon him with six thousand maces.  

As all was revealed and the seraph saw, in the eternity of a moment as one sees before all ends, how foolishly he had acted and what a fool he had been to have fallen for such a trap. Then, the glorious moment was gone along the fire that fed his life-force. The seraph crumbled and was no more. Hence became the fate of many warriors, but none were as mighty as this great champion seraph; he was Legion’s greatest prize; Beelzebub’s pride; and my greatest joy. 



Reflections: The Illustrative Version

A collection of poetry and songs about love, life, relationships, and musings about things we can’t truly explain like dreams or Déjà vu, Each poem has an illustration that perfectly complements it. Reflections will open you up to feelings of awe and wonder.

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A Poem from Reflections

Illustration by Sharmishtha Basu

TOGETHER 

The Crashing of waves 

The cry of the gulls

A wet rocky beach

The wind as it lulls 

Purple fields

Beautiful heather

The making of love

Lasting forever

Night becomes day

Day becomes nightL

Laying in arms

Holding so tight

Walk in the park J

Hike up the mountain

View of the valley

A beautiful fountain

The feeling of love

Like never before

Living together

Forevermore